


Worth The Risk

by Lynds



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Background Merthur, Background Relationships, Bisexuality, Coming Out, F/F, Fluff, Love at First Sight, Past Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 10:33:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13432857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynds/pseuds/Lynds
Summary: Meeting Morgana is like a wake up call to Gwen - time to accept she's not as straight as she thought. But she doesn't want Morgana to think that she's her experiment. She may have only just met her but she's absolutely sure she's worth more than that.





	Worth The Risk

**Author's Note:**

> I've wanted to write Morgwen for ages, and in fact had the first part of this all written out on docs, but I haven't quite been able to think of an ending for it. Now I just have to finish that massive Morgwen and Merthur multichapter fic, oh boy...

“Can I buy you a drink?”

Gwen turned away from watching Merlin and Arthur being utterly adorable and absorbed in each other on the dance floor. She had to do a double take and look behind her because surely this stunning woman couldn’t be talking to her? 

She was taller than Gwen, white (like, properly porcelain white) with a cascade of silky black hair pouring down her back. Red lips quirked into a smirk and Gwen blushed, realising she was staring. “Uh, thank you. That would be... but I’m not gay?”

She squeezed her eyes shut in mortification. “I mean, not that you’re hitting on me, we’re in a gay bar but you might be here with friends like me, not that you couldn’t be gay, I’m sure... can you please stop me speaking?”

The beautiful woman laughed, her head tipped back to show off her long pale neck, and pretty little dimples popped into her cheeks. Gwen loved those dimples. They said ‘this woman is real, she’s made of flesh, not china.’ She looked back at Gwen and shrugged. “That’s a shame. I was, for your information.”

“Hmm?” Gwen blinked. She’d been so busy listening in delight to her Irish accent, the soft curls of her Rs and the purr of it, that she’d completely missed the content of the conversation. “Was what?”

“Hitting on you,” she said, eyes crinkling. 

Gwen blinked. “Really? But... you were?”

“Oh yes.”

“But... but you’re beautiful.”

The woman laughed again. “And you’re sure you’re just into men?”

Gwen opened her mouth to say ‘yes, there’s my ex, Arthur, dancing with his new fiancé. There’s Merlin’s friend Gwaine who I’ve had a crush on for about a year. Pretty sure I’m into guys.’ Instead she said “what do you mean?”

The woman looked a bit awkward for the first time. “I didn’t mean to be pushy. I was just teasing you. If you say you’re straight then you’re straight.” She held out one elegant hand. “I’m Morgana.”

“Gwen,” she said, shaking. But she was thinking about Merlin, who’d come out as bi when they were teenagers, not gay. Gwaine, who said he preferred the word pan. And she bit her lip. “How would I know?”

“Know what?” Morgana asked.

“If it’s just men I like.”

Morgana snorted and put her hand up to her face, like she was trying to catch the sound and put it back in. “What are you saying?”

Gwen frowned down at the bar, thinking back through school and uni and everyone she’d ever found attractive. “I just... I don’t think I’ve ever had a reason to question my sexuality before. I mean... I thought it was normal for a straight girl to find girls beautiful but maybe men were just easier for me so I never…”

“Holy shit,” Morgana said, staring. “Are you having a wee gay crisis suddenly?” She looked back to the crowd and bit her lip. “I mean…” she sighed. “OK. Do you want to talk about it?”

Gwen laughed and put her face in her hands. “No. I’m sorry, I’m so weird. You can run away now if you like. I didn’t mean to make you feel fetishised. Not that I am. Fetishising you. It’s just you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and my brain thought it was appropriate to, like, stamp on me and say ‘accept it already!’ I know you don’t want to be my experiment, not that you would be, God, you’re way more than-“

“Who says?” Morgana said, smirking. “I’ve never been with a virgin before. Maybe I’d find it sexy, teaching you everything I know.” 

She moved closer and brushed a lock of hair behind Gwen’s ear. Gwen’s brain stuttered to a stop and her breath caught in her throat and how? How the actual hell had she missed this about herself? She cleared her throat. “I’m not a virgin,” she said, but it came out as a whisper.

“You are for women.” But she took a step back and smiled more normally, shaking her head. “Sorry, was that a bit... I know I come on a bit strong, I didn’t mean to…” she laughed. “I didn’t mean to fetishise you.”

Gwen laughed, feeling a rush of confidence. “I’ll have that drink, if you’re still offering.”

***

She’d always been under the impression that being chatted up in a gay bar didn’t involve much chatting. Hell, bars in general weren’t known for being conducive to chatting. But she and Morgana talked until her throat ached from having to raise her voice over the music, and her stomach hurt from giggling and her cheeks felt feverish under the permanent blush she had just being in Morgana’s presence.

At last Arthur and Merlin stumbled over to her. “We’re going to call it a night,” said Arthur, jerking his head at Merlin, who was slumped against him, nose pressed right against his neck and a dopey smile on his face. “Somebody’s several sheets to the wind.”

“Lies!” Merlin slurred. “I’m perfectly sober.”

Arthur smirked, but it came out soft and affectionate as he looked down at Merlin’s mass of hair. “You coming?” he asked Gwen.

“Oh, yes, I suppose so. Gosh, it’s really late.” She glanced at Morgana and bit her lip. Arthur raised an eyebrow.

“It was nice to meet you,” Morgana said, waxy red lips stretching into a sweet smile. Gwen’s heart flip-flopped again. She waved at Morgana, who licked her straw back between her lips and waggled her fingers back.

“So,” said Arthur. “She seems nice.”

Gwen sighed, pulling her coat on as they got out into the biting Cardiff winds. “She is." She stared into the lights reflecting off the damp streets and took a deep breath. "So, hypothetically, how many other women would I have to date before I could ask her out and not be using her as some sort of bi experiment?”

“Would you be?”

She squished her lips to one side. “How should I know? I only just realised I’m bi, I just... I don’t want to... be crap, or something.” She shrugged. “I should make all the mistakes with someone else, right?”

“No,” he laughed. 

She frowned up at him and he rolled his eyes, shifting Merlin higher in his arms. “How many guys did you date before me?”

“Three.”

“And had you got all your mistakes out of your system by the time you got to me? Did you make mistakes with one of them that you learned to perfectly avoid before your next boyfriend?”

She frowned down at the road, remembering all the screw ups in their relationship, how she clung onto him and refused to see how miserable he was, how deeply in love with Merlin. They could have all avoided so much grief if she’d accepted the obvious, but no. She refused to see the truth.

She was a crappy girlfriend. No amount of practice was going to make that better.

“Hey,” said Arthur, shaking her shoulder. He looked down at her, his blue eyes wide and concerned. “You’re not supposed to get sad, you’re supposed to see that all relationships are different and none of them are perfect and there will always be mistakes.”

“You’re crap at this,” mumbled Merlin, his eyes still shut. Gwen giggled, but it was subdued. “Tell her she’s the kindest, sweetest most loving person in the world, Arthur. Tell her that girl would be lucky to have her.”

“I can hear you, you know," she smiled.

Arthur was still looking serious at her. “You really are the best girlfriend in the world, you know that, right? I never left because... Gwen, we broke up because I’m very, very gay, not because... whatever you’re worrying about. Really, you made women almost bearable for me.”

Merlin burst out laughing. “Arthur, you are useless! Almost bearable? What the hell?”

She joined in giggling at his offended face, but bit her lip. “I wasn’t too clingy? I should have figured it out, really, I—“

“God, no, Gwen. You’re lovely.”

Merlin straightened up and even opened his eyes to peer blearily at her. “It’s not about men or women. It’s not about what you’re like. Relationships are hard no matter how many you’ve been in, because everyone’s different. The only thing you can do is try it.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, then nodded her head and ran back into the club. She didn’t allow herself to think, she focused on searching the crowd for that same wavy hair and creamy skin, and her heart leaped when she caught sight of her.

She squeezed through the crowd to the bar where Morgana was going through her purse. Tapped her on the shoulder. When she turned, Gwen stood on her tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss to her beautiful red lips.

“Hi,” she whispered. “Um. I’d uh, like to take you out for dinner one day. Please. And maybe have your number too. If you—“

Morgana cupped her cheeks in both hands and kissed her, open lips moving over hers. Gwen felt her tongue brush over her top lip and gasped into her mouth, hands coming up to clutch at her waist. She leaned closer, kissing her back, and oh God, it felt like electricity and heat and ice down her spine. 

“You don’t mind, then?” She asked once they pulled apart, foreheads pressed together. “That I don’t know what I’m doing?”

Morgana laughed. “Who ever does?” She stroked her cheek with the back of her knuckles. “I think you’ll be worth the risk.”


End file.
